selfish

Ever since God made His presence known to me, I've been yearning to share Him with others but I never really knew how. I don't know Scripture well enough to engage anyone in an intelligent conversation, and I have no idea how to talk to people about Christ without feeling like I am proselytizing. So I play it safe, and instead of going out and preaching the Good News to all creation like Jesus commanded, I stay in my bubble and convince myself that feeding the homeless a few times a year, donating some money to a few charities and attending church every Sunday is good enough. I mean, isnt that what most Christians do?? Didn't Jesus call for us to be happy and comfortable and live well in our big suburban homes, as long as we pray for those who are in need? If not, why are we so many of us (including myself) content with this life?

I took a Perspectives class today, and I was (still am) really struggling with whether or not I even want to take this class. Why? This is going to sound selfish, but I really like my life as it is! I like that I work 40 hours a week, I like that I have time after work to hang out with friends, watch TV, get on gchat, catch up on celebrity gossip, play with bangoo. I like that I get to sleep in on the weekends, go shopping, have dinner with friends and talk about boys. And I like the fact that maybe, if perhaps Im not too tired from all the aforementioned activities, I might possibly be able to find some time to crack open my Bible and read it. I could conceivably fit in a few words of prayer too, if I timed everything correctly.

But today, I was in a classroom full of people who desire nothing more than to get away from the American dream, and live the life that God has called them to lead. How awesome is that?! To step away from all the comforts and privileges that we think we deserve, to serve people who don't know or despise our God, to risk everything we have for the hope that one day all the nations will know who He is - that is huge. Huge! And to be honest, I'm not sure I am for the challenge yet. I am so small and weak, and at times I feel so useless. I am praying that this class will help prepare my heart and mind so that when the time comes for Him to tell me to GO, I'll be ready.